Dissing the Player, Nintendo’s Recipe to Success?

This won’t be a long article, because it’s a very frustrating topic. Being dissed by Nintendo characters. Seriously what is that about? I mean, it started with Duck Hunt, and that stupid dog. Seriously, what’s his problem, he doesn’t even have fingers to shoot, he’s just waiting to hunt dead ducks.

Congratulation, you cought a dead duck

Anyway, every time I take my DS and load Brain Age it starts whining about the fact that I haven’t been playing regularly. Wii Fit is even worse, it keeps telling me I’m heavy. Seriously, Nintendo is just plain mean. Stupid company probably think I’m not focused enough to hold a reasonable and logical argument about Duck Hunt. I mean, I didn’t start, the company said I was dumb, not able to shoot and fat. I find this behavior very hypocritical coming from a company with a lot of fat characters like Mario, Wario, etc. I’m pretty sure that Peach also always complains about her weight to Mario:

Peach: Uuuuuuuuuugggggggggghhhhhhhhhh…. I’m so fat.
Mario: No, you’re not.
Peach: Yes I am.
Mario: Come on baby, you’re super fit.
Peach: Shut up. I’m not, I’m fat.
Mario: You’re not fat, I’m fat.
Peach: It’s okay for you, you are a man.
Mario: Then why do you keep rejecting me at night.
Peach: I don’t feel confortable about my body.
Mario: That’s not true, you keep going to Koopa Beach to show off your body. Why don’t you show it to me?
Peach: It’s not the same thing.
Mario: Yes it is.
Peach: No it’s not. You are a man, people are not lusting for me there so it’s different.
Mario: You think I don’t know that Bowser hangs out there, and that you like to let him watch.
Peach: Please. I told you to stop it with your imagination.
Mario: I’m sorry, I went to far.
Peach: Yes. Now, say it… I’m fat.
Mario: Again with that!?!?! OK! You are fat… you are the fattest person in the universe.
Peach: How could you, I’m going back to my castle. I should’ve listen to the King when he told me: “don’t marry a plumber, you’re a princess, you can do a lot better than a plumber, I bet his hands are dirty…”
Mario: Here we go again… (sigh)

Blurry photo taken by a private detective that prooves that Bowser really does hang out at Koopa Beach.

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4 Responses to “Dissing the Player, Nintendo’s Recipe to Success?”

  1. :) says:

    Hey that’s pretty funny. Made me smile.

  2. Ed says:

    Hehe seems like you got sidetracked!

  3. Funny stuff, Seb!
    Did you know that the arcade version of Duck Hunt has a mini-game that allows you to shoot that blasted dog? Pure catharsis.

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